28 April, 2010

Manic brain is killin' me

Or maybe it's "mommy brain" but really, I've been this way for at least a decade, since about the time I stopped working full time. Maybe I need to keep my brain working to keep my brain working! Where's Homer when you need a "D'oh!"?

Anyway, I need a system. I keep coming up with what I think are great ideas to write about. I even go through several paragraphs in my mind, edit a bit, go through them again. Then when I sit for a few secs and try to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard (depending on the sitch) it's gone. I can't even think of the initial idea, let alone any of the clever bits. Maybe I need to strap a Dictaphone to my bra (yes, honey, it's pronounced dick-ta-fone). Then I can just record everything that comes to mind. And my mom used to be a PA - maybe she could transcribe for me... erm, or not.

The really annoying part is I used to be able to keep up. Way back when, in the stoner age - okay, not really, I have enough issues with my mind; it was actually a slightly disparaging remark about my age, get it? - I knew my schedule for a month, kept track of homework, activities, menses, gossip, dates, and all the writing ideas I had, and was always able to recall anything and everything at will. But whether it's age, disuse, the mania, the meds for the mania, or some combination thereof, I'm just not the gal I used to be. Tonight I got all happy I could figure out the answer on Wheel of Fortune before the lady on TV, and it was entirely filled in. And the kids on mini-Jeopardy have better brain function than I seem to. If I thought it would help, I'd brave the vomit-scented fragrance of the female ginkgo tree. Or just buy the pills, but I wouldn't remember they exist and end up surrounded by nausea-inducing trees. Gah, I hate ginkgo. At least I think I do.

The more I think about it, the Dictaphone (or modern-day equivalent) isn't such a bad idea. Then no matter where I am I can have a conversation with myself out loud. And if anyone gives me the evil eye, I can pull out my modern-day-Dictaphone and brandish it like I'm someone important. So important I need to make sure every little thing that pops into my head must be recorded. Kind of like a tween with a texting phone, but all grown up.

Hmmm. I wonder if they make transcription software for the Dictaphone?

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